Heart Cry

Right now, whenever I am in spouse's presence, I want to have as little to do with her as I can manage. I do not have pleasant thoughts concerning her or our relationship. God commands the husband to love the wife as Christ loves the Church, to die to self and die for her. I have been sinful in my recent behavior/attitude.

How I wish my love for spouse would cause me to pin for her, to miss her whenever we were apart for any amount of time. To desire her sexually again, to take on her illnesses as a personal crusade so that she knows she is loved. To stop feeling hostile, even hate in her presence.

Heavenly Father, you know my desire is to do your will and reflect your love for me to those who are around me. Please forgive my sinfulness against spouse and give me strength to die for her as Christ died for Church. Please give me patience and cure my eyesight so that I see the companion you so thoughtfully and lovingly prepared for me and set before my eyes those many years ago. Please rip this hate, from me as I seek her forgiveness and in same, that I forgive her for not being perfect. Please forgive me for expecting perfection from her and sinning against you when perfection was not found, knowing that perfection can only be found in you. Please heal me in this situation, as only you can heal, through Christ and your Holy Spirit.

Amen