Functional Sinner

Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence

2008-12-15T15:19:00.002-05:00

Let all mortal flesh keep silence,
And with fear and trembling stand;
Ponder nothing earthly minded,
For with blessing in His hand,
Christ our God to earth descendeth,
Our full homage to demand.

King of kings, yet born of Mary,
As of old on earth He stood,
Lord of lords, in human vesture,
In the body and the blood;
He will give to all the faithful
His own self for heavenly food.

Rank on rank the host of heaven
Spreads its vanguard on the way,
As the Light of light descendeth
From the realms of endless day,
That the powers of hell may vanish
As the darkness clears away.

At His feet the six wingèd seraph,
Cherubim with sleepless eye,
Veil their faces to the presence,
As with ceaseless voice they cry:
Alleluia, Alleluia
Alleluia, Lord Most High!

Random thoughts

2007-11-07T15:57:00.001-05:00

Illusion is the opposite of magic.
Everyone wants to be fancy and new, not themselves. People want to be different from what they are.
Pastors; most are salesmen trying to trick the congregation into believing Jesus would make you new. Others sell God and never ever listen, never care, just wanting to sell the product.
Bible stories are NOT for kids. Settings, conflict, climax, and resolution. Climax is the point of decision that determines the end of the story.
Jesus became us (that is human) so that we can see and understand. Like prisoners that are brutalized, if the rescuer comes and does the same thing as the guards, we are unlikely to follow to freedom, BUT, if the rescue does the things our guards won't, we will pay attention.
When it comes to Christian spirituality, we do not see a children story. The story is not cute or neat, it is mystical, odd and clean even when reaching into the dirty.
How can I fully love someone/everyone all the same, even those who reject God. How do I get rid of all the tension?
True love turns the other cheek
Christianity; the same religion that generated the crusades, fund the republicans or fathers religious television?
Talk about God as if they knew Him=m, as if they had talked with Him that very day on the phone. Not ashamed!
Always afraid of what people will think? Try eating chocolate, smoke a cigarette and read the bible.
Concerning Jesus. There were people he loved and people who he got really mad at. I tend to identify with the people he loved, which are good, because they were the ones who were broken. People who are tired of life and want to be done with it, desperate people, outcasts, pagan.

2007-10-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

My anger, is it a symptom of my depression?

God, I think I am one big disappointment to you. I think this because I judge myself. As your word says, as we judge, so we are judged.

Things I do to disappoint God:

I do not give him a full days work
I do not manage my money to glorify him (stewardship)
I do not pray as I should, but the question is, how should I pray?
I waste time, talent and spiritual gifts!
I don't trust God.

I trusted God that all these issues of the past have been dealt with. I trusted that revisiting them would be unnecessary. It seems that it is other people's requirements that these issues get dragged out.

the sadness inside...

2007-08-31T09:21:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I feel like all I want to do is get down under my desk, press myself into the corner and stay there. There is sadness in me that just hangs there, just enough to darken everything I do or think about with doubt. God, I believe, help me in my unbelief…

Dark side of life

2006-11-06T09:01:00.000-05:00

"The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality. And I take responsibility for the entire problem. I am a deceiver and a liar. There's a part of my life that is so repulsive and dark that I have been warring against it for all of my adult life," he said. -letter written by Rev Ted Haggard to his congregation

While I have not fallen for my temptations as Rev Haggard has, I have a dark side that I battle and war against, and sometimes I end up "feeding" it. Rev Haggard should be prayed for, as well as his family. You who are adopted by God, and who love your church and elders should be praying for your pastors, your elders and your church leaders, each one of them, everyday, without fail. May God be glorified!

Did you win?

2006-07-08T05:48:00.000-04:00

Did you win? Does your wisdom save you? Do you think that Satan will greet you into his domain with open arms? Do you not know that Satan hate God's creation as much if not more than God? You will not be welcomed into Satan's domain, you will be cast in. Do you think that your pride and self assurance in the spiritual decisions made during life will survive the presence of God as you stand before the judgement throne? Do you think that your heart will not be change in His Holy Presence? But then it will be too late. Healing consists of reconciliation, and reconciliation is done with repentance of your sins and the imputation of righteousness from Christ. When death overtakes you, it is too late.

Revealed: Romans 1:18-32
18 The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness,
19 since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them.
20 For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.

21 For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.
22 Although they claimed to be wise, they became fools
23 and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images made to look like mortal man and birds and animals and reptiles.

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
25 They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.
26Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.
27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.

28 Furthermore, since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done.
29 They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips,
30 slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents;
31 they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless.
32 Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.

But there is hope: Romans 3:21-26
21 But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify.
22 This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference,
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
24 and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
25 God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—
26 he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.

There is no justice when you look to Satan.

In the Grip of Pornography

2006-06-09T12:04:00.000-04:00

Sometimes the trigger is something as ‘innocent’ as a television commercial, featuring the girl painting the living room in her underwear. Sometimes the trigger is that booby-trapped email message, disguised as an email response but shepherding that unwanted image into my life, even when I didn’t seek it.

I would like to put a ‘face’ on the victimless crime caused by lust, as preached by our Pastor on the 17th of March. Pornography addiction is very real, and I been struggling with it’s powerful grip on my life, falling deep into it power for moments or for days. It isn’t even hard-core that I seek, but erotica, where there is no real body part exposure, but I find that I am not always satisfied with these images but look for a little more. Sometimes I find myself in places I never thought I would be, thinking thoughts that I would never normally consider. The images get seared in my mind and remain with me long after the foray has ended.

I pray for deliverance, but Satan whispers in my ears, letting me know how much I have disappointed my Savior. My prayers for forgiveness seem hypocritical, without power, and without expectation. Scripture not only condemns but also causes me to question my salvation. I am a dog, returning to my vomit. I am sickened by my weakness. I despair by the silence answer to my prayers.

At a church I use to go to, I seek accountability, and make a confession before those whom I trust to be men of God, who would jump up and help. One pats me on the back, and tells me how brave I am for sharing my weakness and pain. I am admired for my courage and my visibility. But no one calls to ask how my struggle is going; no one comes forward to offers help. Months later, in a conversation with one of the men who was present, he confesses that his lack of response is because he too struggles with pornography. I wonder who else in my church struggles.

SADLY, my teen-aged daughter caught me where I shouldn't be last night...

Theophostic Prayer

2006-03-24T10:31:00.000-05:00

Three weeks ago I restarted counseling with councilor. It had been several years since we last met, and when we ended the therapy, it was because councilor felt that my grip on my emotions was beyond his abilities with Theophostic. Anger at spouse, depression and emotional turmoil prompted me to renew counceling.

With the first session, he was very hopeful, giving me great hope, because he stated that he had managed more difficult cases like mine, with success and he felt sure that he could bring me through the anger and emotional roller-coaster I have been on, using Theophostic Prayer.

We met the other night, and at the end of the session, after a couple failed attempts to access my emotion, he concluded that I was still beyond his ability. It was already established as a lie from Satan, my belief that God does not want me cured. When I concentrate on a stirring (destructive emotion), it either sits before me as a ball of emotion, just beyond my ability to touch it or access it, or it disappears, instantly, as if it never existed, the pressure of it also gone. One thing that is consistent, is that I cannot access the emotion as needed and in the way that Theophostic prayer therapy needs me to, for it to work.

So what can I do?

I was struck by the portion of our session where councilor revealed how a stirring erupted during the previous week, how he went into prayer, and how his wife witness the process without interruption. He indicated the process took 45 minutes.

This week, as another stirring occurred, I look at what was causing the anger (in the present situation), and examined it. Why was I angry? Was the anger necessary (justified or an emotional reaction to what I could not control or did not want to deal with)? What was my part of the situation, and where did my sinfulness add to the situation? As I looked at each part, I was able to identify the sin on my part, and in my prayer, confess and ask God for forgiveness. I am also looking to see if the situation (and emotion) was because I was sinned against, and in forgave. I also examined the situation for the need to seek forgiveness.

I recognize that each event is not an event where I might have sinned. This prayerful self-examination may not require me to forgive or seek forgiveness. I hope that I might instead rely more fully on God's strength in each situation, as I realize that most things are not in my ability to fix or avoid. In this prayer, I need to seek refuge from the noise in my life, so that I can hear the voice of God.

Thank you Lord, for being there for me. Thank you Lord for giving me knowledge and guidance from your Holy Spirit in this very difficult time of my life. Thank you Lord for giving me a stubbornness, that hinders me at times, but is also a gift that keeps me from shutting down and quitting, instead it fuels my desire to continue to look to you for strength and resolution to all that life places before me. Let me glorify you constantly with my lips and with the joy that is present in my Heart when I think of how great you are and how blest I am to be granted the gift of faith and the gift of salvation through your son Christ.

Amen.

Heart Cry

2006-03-24T09:50:00.000-05:00

Right now, whenever I am in spouse's presence, I want to have as little to do with her as I can manage. I do not have pleasant thoughts concerning her or our relationship. God commands the husband to love the wife as Christ loves the Church, to die to self and die for her. I have been sinful in my recent behavior/attitude.

How I wish my love for spouse would cause me to pin for her, to miss her whenever we were apart for any amount of time. To desire her sexually again, to take on her illnesses as a personal crusade so that she knows she is loved. To stop feeling hostile, even hate in her presence.

Heavenly Father, you know my desire is to do your will and reflect your love for me to those who are around me. Please forgive my sinfulness against spouse and give me strength to die for her as Christ died for Church. Please give me patience and cure my eyesight so that I see the companion you so thoughtfully and lovingly prepared for me and set before my eyes those many years ago. Please rip this hate, from me as I seek her forgiveness and in same, that I forgive her for not being perfect. Please forgive me for expecting perfection from her and sinning against you when perfection was not found, knowing that perfection can only be found in you. Please heal me in this situation, as only you can heal, through Christ and your Holy Spirit.

Amen

From "A Slice Of Infinity" for 8 March 06

2006-03-08T10:47:00.000-05:00

Who Are You?

Jill Carattini

In the C.S. Lewis novel 'Til We Have Faces, the main character, Orual, has taken mental notes throughout her life, carefully building what she refers to as her "case" against the gods. Finally choosing to put her case in writing, she meticulously describes each instance where she has been wronged. It is only after Orual has finished writing that she soberly recognizes her great mistake. She now sees the importance of uttering the speech at the center of one's soul, for to have heard herself making the complaint was to be answered. She profoundly observes that the gods used her own pen to probe the wounds. With sharpened insight Orual explains, "'Til the words can be dug out of us, why should [the gods] hear the babble that we think we mean? How can they meet us face to face 'til we have faces?"

Never has a book cut open my heart and laid it before me so plainly. It was simultaneously the moment I realized how distant I had become from God and how near to me He had been all along. I had spent a lifetime subconsciously compiling my case against Him. Through these more turbulent years en route to faith and belief in Christ, I stood armed with my diary of questions, taking more a stance of interrogator than glad follower. Some of my questions were milder interrogations than others; in fact, some even embodied the possibility of exoneration. But the telling detail in this perspective was that I saw myself as the one holding the judge's gavel, while God was the one on trial.

I vividly recall the first time I realized the barrage of questions I was prepared to ask. It was not long before I would come across the pages of the book that brought me to surrender the gavel. I was reading the last chapter in the Gospel of John.

In that scene, the disciples were fishing when Jesus appeared on the shoreline; this, just days after they had watched in horror as he was crucified on the Cross. No doubt with heightened anticipation, the disciples quickly drew in their nets and rushed to the shore where Jesus was preparing breakfast at the fire. John's description places us aside a group of expectant fishermen. With bated breath we wait to hear how the silence will be broken. And then John writes, "None of the disciples dared to ask, 'Who are you?' For they knew it was the savior" (John 21:12).

It was the word "dare" that got under my skin. It completely upset me that none of them dared to ask. They had every reason to ask questions. Where did you go? How are you here? Why did you have to die? That the disciples were not full of questions seemed to me remarkably unnatural. It did not take me long to realize that I was bothered by their lack of asking specifically because I did dare to ask.

The frenzied, almost illegible words in my journal still remind me how frustrated I was at that moment. In words more fired onto the page than composed, I asked everything I had ever wanted to ask. Two weeks later, I picked up a copy of 'Til We Have Faces and was overcome with the absurdity of my "case"—even as I was overcome with the certainty that I had been heard.

For me, sensing myself far away from God is often riddled with the suspicion that it is his doing, that He has left, and that I have been abandoned. It is interesting how often these feelings coincide with an outburst of honest writing and confession. In such moments I realize, like Orual, the importance of uttering the words at the center of one's soul—if for nothing more than to hear in my own words the illogic of my anger or the intensity and passion I am complaining is absent. To hear myself making the complaint is often to be answered. And repeatedly, these moments of despair and distance become realizations of proximity and awareness of the God who is there. Interestingly, in such moments I don't dare ask who it is. For I know it is the savior.

Phillip Yancey and Discernment

2006-02-09T17:35:00.000-05:00

I am (or was) a big fan of Phillip Yancey, but after reading a review on each of a couple of his books ("What's So Amazing About Grace" and "The Christ I Never Knew") on 9 Marks ministry website. I have to agree with the reviews, remembering the nags in my head about some of what I was reading at the time. In fact, I liked reading "What's So Amazing About Grace", and was going to re-read it because I but felt it was largely unresolved in what Yancey was trying to achieve. Now, I am thinking that my discernment button is broken, under-exercised or maybe even untrustworthy. Grrrr... I know I am not suppose to figure it all out, being part of the journey... I just wish I knew what I was doing once in a while.

I am currently reading Donald Miller's Blue Like Jazz. It has a lot of nuggets (things to think about). I especially like the repeated thoughts concerning the some of the more 'got it together' (I know - a subjective term) Christians who act like they talk to God everyday and in fact, sounded (confident in their understanding) like they just got off the phone with Him.

In an email conversation with a friend, he writes I have a few of Yancy's books but I've never been a "fan", because 1) he is definitely Arminian [or Pelagian!] but in my mind in a disconcerting way that fails to wrestle through the issues, such as the one book he did on suffering, where he really failed to address the issues of Job's suffering from a robust theological interaction [which some Arminians do try to do & I respect even if I disagree], 2) he seems to mostly tell stories & often argues from them instead of any exegesis of biblical texts [the case of the homosexual friend comes to mind (Amazing Grace?), although its been a long time since I read that book too] 3) in kindness I'd say, he doesn't seem "for me anyway" to come across with anything profound, not that everything has to be profound, but like many "popular writers" at this point in my Christian walk, too much of it comes across as "fluff". I read a couple of Lucado's books & frankly I wasn't impressed. Consequently I've steered clear of a lot of the popular guys although I read & enjoy much of what MacArthur writes. I also appreciate Colson's Breakpoint not so much for his theology but for keeping me aware of current events touching on church & theolgoical issues. We are defintely working with a "Christianity for Dummies" version in a lot that is written today tragically.

The "Dummie" books can be quite comphrehensive, at least the two I have (one is on Diabete II)... Maybe it is time for a Dummie like book on Arminianism and Reformed thinking or on Worldviews and how they seem to affect theology for the bad.

Blue Like Jazz - Notes from the chapter "Problems"

2006-02-03T21:37:00.000-05:00

We know 'something' about us is broken.

We need police to keep the order. Cops in our society is part of check and balances. We break a law and we pay the price. Countries where the police are corrupt are chaotic. Countries where there are no checks and balances have warring tribes, genocide, rapes, murders in huge numbers.

Do you really think you are above these things?

Why does a child need to be taught right from wrong? If two children are brought up, one without instruction and one with, which child will be better. What would happen if that child that is taught right from wrong has checks and balances removed? Why does it take no effort to be bad, but most time, a lot of effort to be good?

-----------------------

Satan weapon is not to entice us into sin, but to waste time, removing/neutralizing time to tell others of Christ.

-------------------
Ultimately, the problem with the world is me.

I cannot solve the worlds problems because the problem starts with me. I can rage against materialism, social and industrial actions of the United States, but I have no control over my own heart. I am a hypocrite

Four Types of Christians: (or Why Christians Become Lukewarm)

2006-02-03T21:26:00.000-05:00

In the area of discipleship, Baxter outlines four classic conditions of true believers.

The first are the young and weak. Baxter writes, �There are many of our flock who are young and weak, who, though they are of long standing, are yet of small proficiency or strength. This indeed, is the most common condition of the Godly. Most of them content themselves with low degrees of grace, and it is no easy matter to get them to go higher. Yes, it is a very sad thing for Christians to be weak.� To be young and weak is to be weak in discipleship, or spiritual growth and service. They are weak and young even though they may have been Christians for ten or twenty years.

A second class of converts that need our special help are those who labor under some particular corruption. This makes them a trouble to others and a burden to themselves. �Alas, there are to many such persons addicted to pride, worldly minded sensual pleasures...� Maybe it�s pride, fits of anger, or a sexual addiction of some kind. We can estimate, for example, that between 60% and 70% of all men are involved in pornography...both Christians and non-Christians. We must have a heart to offer such men special help, which means making effective resources available to them (counseling, church discipline, accountability, small groups).

A third class of converts are those whom Baxter called declining Christians. These may have once burned bright, but years of neglect and compromise has caused the fire to die down. This is a common sight in most churches today. Many of the men I meet who are declining Christians have come to that point because of a dream that didn�t come true. They believe in Jesus, but there was something else they thought they needed in order to be happy. And not getting it has somehow dulled their relationship with Christ. These men slowly withdraw. They just cooled down, never noticing the change in their temperature.

The fourth class represents the strong. �The last class, whom I shall notice here as requiring our attention, are the strong, for they also have need of our assistance...� How much better to leverage the strong than merely attend to the sick.

Thoughts from the book "Blue Like Jazz"

2006-02-03T07:25:00.000-05:00

By Donald Miller

In the Chapter: Beginnings

Do we think of God as a slot machine? Do we get on our knees and pray, as in pulling the handle, hoping that the cherries will line up and our prayer will be answered, and if note, just making a mental note that it is a matter of luck?

Prayer by CS Lewis

2006-01-19T06:41:00.000-05:00

Master, they say that when I seem
To be in speech with you,
Since you make no replies, it's all a dream
One talker aping two.

They are half right, but not as they
Imagine; rather, I
Seek in myself the things I meant to say,
And lo! The wells are dry.

Then, seeing me empty, you forsake
The Listener's role, and through
My dead lips breathe and into utterance wake
The thoughts I never knew.

And thus you neither need reply
Nor can; thus, while we seem
Two talking, thou are One forever, and I
No dreamer, but thy dream.

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-19T06:40:00.000-05:00

The movie associates homosexuality with nature

magnificent mountains, big sky, clear blue water, teeming forests

as contrasted with the constraints of a tacky, empty civilization. But whether you are a creationist or a Darwinist, having children and struggling to survive are what's "natural." Leaving your family for escapist, sterile sex is literally "unnatural."

-- Gene Ed Veith, in a review of Brokeback Mountain

Politicians are Revolting (and so should we)

2006-01-17T15:13:00.000-05:00

I was reading with interest the latest column by 'Vox Day' at http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=48361 and also reading the Breakpoint column (Revolution to Revulsion), concerning the latest potential scandal with the republicans, and I have to tell you the truth, I am feeling rather convinced that we (rightly) should be rejecting political power as one way of promoting the kingdom. The power of one vote should make a difference, but I feel far too many (voters) have their heads in the sand, reacting with emotion rather than conviction or determination. Changing the mind of the nation should not be from the front pages, where Christianity, with it's problem of being made up of human sinners is held up by the secular press for all to see. Instead, it should be a behind the scenes having real conversations, one person, one neighbor, one group at a time. Who would care if legalized abortion was on the books if we were teaching our neighbors and our children the reality of this 'choice' and the grievousness of walking down that path. The same with 'choice' of lifestyles and the other choices that lead to culture condemning sin. We need not to depend on politics, but instead to stand up and properly, with the love of Christ, affect the culture around us, one person at a time.

What do you want God to do for you?"

2005-11-28T14:50:00.000-05:00

(Jesus asked this of a blind man). Most people deflect the focus off themselves and ask for "world peace" because that's noble and you really don't have to face Christ with the desire of your heart. Also- you don't really have to do anything about it or at least no one will notice if you don't- if you stay uninvolved.

Two will be Posting

2005-11-23T13:39:00.000-05:00

I was having lunch with a friend, and he found himself interested in posting to this Blog his struggles too. We want to remain anonymous, so there will be no way to contact us unless you use the comment section and/or the one email address. To identify which of us may be writing, I will at least sign my entries with the nickname 'mad dog'. The reason is that I tend to foam at the mouth when it comes to things and subjects that I am passionate about. --mad dog

Depression and more...

2005-11-23T11:13:00.000-05:00

I wanted to write in this BLOG entries that document my personal struggles as a Christian, in hopes that it might be of help to others. My struggles include forays into the world of pornography (more on that later), my lack of integrity when it comes to how I spend my time at work, and my other struggles.

At this time I am suffering from depression, and my motivation level is way down. It is hard to do anything and it is hard to recognize what is a result of the depression and what is normal. I am taking medication, but it is time to admit that the problem is bigger and more acute that I was willing to acknowledge. Please pray for me in this regard.

Books I am reading: I am in the middle of Phillip Yancy's Rumors of Another World. I am hoping to give this book to several friends as a Christmas present, who are interested in spiritual things but who are not Christians.

Have a great Thanksgiving. Remember to give thanks for both the things easily seen, and the things invisible and easily taken for granted.

Beatitudes:

2005-11-10T19:20:00.000-05:00

What beatitude applies to you? Why?

THE BIBLE & THE COAL BASKET

2005-11-10T18:58:00.000-05:00

The story is told of an old man who lived on a farm in the mountains ofeastern Kentucky with his young grandson. Each morning, Grandpa was upearly sitting at the kitchen table reading from his old worn-out Bible.

His grandson who wanted to be just like him tried to imitate him in anyway he could. One day the grandson asked, "Papa, I try to read theBible just like you but I don't understand it, and what I do understandI forget as soon as I close the book. What good does reading the Bible

do?" The Grandfather quietly turned from putting coal in the stove andsaid, "Take this coal basket down to the river and bring back a basketof water." The boy did as he was told, even though all the water leakedout before he could get back to the house.

The grandfather laughed and said, "You will have to move a little fasternext time," and sent him back to the river with the basket to try again.

This time the boy ran faster, but again the basket was empty before he returned home. Out of breath, he told his grandfather that it was "impossible to carry water in a basket," and he went to get a bucket instead. The old man said, "I don't want a bucket of water; I want a basket of water. You can do this. You're just not trying hard enough, "and he went out the door to watch the boy try again. At this point, theboy knew it was impossible, but he wanted to show his grandfather thateven if he ran as fast as he could, the water would leak out before he got far at all. The boy scooped the water and ran hard, but when hereached his grandfather the basket was again empty.

Out of breath, he said, "See Papa, it's useless!"

"So you think it is useless?" The old man said, "Look at the basket." The boy looked at the basket and for the first time he realized that the basket looked different. Instead of a dirty old coal basket, it was clean. "Son, that's what happens when you read the Bible. You might not understand or remember everything, but when you read it, it will change you from the inside out.

That is the work of God in our lives.

To change us from the inside out and to slowly transform us into the image of His son.

Take time to read a portion of God's word each day.

-- Author Unknown

Psalms 41

2005-11-07T10:29:00.000-05:00

1 Blessed is he who has regard for the weak; the LORD delivers him in times of trouble.

2 The LORD will protect him and preserve his life; he will bless him in the land and not surrender him to the desire of his foes.

3 The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.

4 I said, "O LORD, have mercy on me; heal me, for I have sinned against you."

5 My enemies say of me in malice, "When will he die and his name perish?"

6 Whenever one comes to see me, he speaks falsely, while his heart gathers slander; then he goes out and spreads it abroad.

7 All my enemies whisper together against me; they imagine the worst for me, saying,

8 "A vile disease has beset him; he will never get up from the place where he lies."

9 Even my close friend, whom I trusted, he who shared my bread, has lifted up his heel against me.

10 But you, O LORD, have mercy on me; raise me up, that I may repay them.

11 I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me.

12 In my integrity you uphold me and set me in your presence forever.

13 Praise be to the LORD, the God of Israel,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Amen and Amen.

Spurgeon's Morning & Evening Devotions, September 27, 2005

2005-09-28T16:23:00.000-04:00

"Happy art thou, O Israel; who is like unto thee, O people saved by the Lord!" - Deuteronomy 33:29

He who affirms that Christianity makes men miserable, is himself an utter stranger to it. It were strange indeed, if it made us wretched, for see to what a position it exalts us! It makes us sons of God. Suppose you that God will give all the happiness to his enemies, and reserve all the mourning for his own family? Shall his foes have mirth and joy, and shall his home-born children inherit sorrow and wretchedness? Shall the sinner, who has no part in Christ, call himself rich in happiness, and shall we go mourning as if we were penniless beggars? No, we will rejoice in the Lord always, and glory in our inheritance, for we "have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but we have received the spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father."

The rod of chastisement must rest upon us in our measure, but it worketh for us the comfortable fruits of righteousness; and therefore by the aid of the divine Comforter, we, the "people saved of the Lord," will joy in the God of our salvation. We are married unto Christ; and shall our great Bridegroom permit his spouse to linger in constant grief? Our hearts are knit unto him: we are his members, and though for awhile we may suffer as our Head once suffered, yet we are even now blessed with heavenly blessings in him. We have the earnest of our inheritance in the comforts of the Spirit, which are neither few nor small.

Inheritors of joy for ever, we have foretastes of our portion. There are streaks of the light of joy to herald our eternal sunrising. Our riches are beyond the sea; our city with firm foundations lies on the other side the river; gleams of glory from the spirit-world cheer our hearts, and urge us onward. Truly is it said of us, "Happy art thou, O Israel; who is like unto thee, O people saved by the Lord?"

Sermon: Making All Things New

2005-09-16T15:41:00.000-04:00

This lecture addresses a lot of our sexual issues as men, especially in the realm of temptation. This is not the normal accountability solution, but a deeper look at the issues of sin, what drives us to do some of the things we do. It is well worth the download (Go to the website, select the link, right-click, save target as) and listening to. I have downloaded all the sessions and place them on CDs for car travel. --David Powlison

Restoring Pure Joy to the Sexually Broken
Listen
From the Sex and Supremacy of God conference (J Piper) - http://www.desiringgod.org/news_events/dgm_national/2004/media.html

Hope in the Face of Disaster

2005-09-06T11:01:00.000-04:00

Throughout history, all kinds of disasters always takes place. The Tsunami of last December, the Hurricane last week. It is hard to understand sometimes why God would allows such disasters to take place. I don't have the answers to the why, but I can tell you a little about God's character, which the Bible reveals.

It is wrong for evangelist to indicate that those areas (Asia or New Orleans) were specifically targeted for special punishment, and that those stricken are deserving. The Bible teaches that we all deserve judgment and punishment, including those same evangelicals. It is safe to say that God wants our attention and to turn towards Him, not wanting any to be lost. He does not necessarily cause these events for that purpose but allows natural events to happen so that His love can be experience, especially through Christian ministries. These disasters do create opportunity for Christians to 'roll up their sleeves' and show God's love by laboring to feed, provide clothing and shelter and to comfort the victims and their family - and also lead people to saving faith in Christ!. Believe me, it is against our nature to seek out God when everything is going well.

These disasters also contain many miraculous events, miracles that prevented even greater lose of life. If the hurricane had still been a category 5 when it hit, which it was just hours before making landfall. If the hurricane had not tracked a little east of New Orleans, dealing it a glancing blow. In the near future, as stories come out of this area, you will hear tales of the miraculous on individual levels. The people who were saved from death, and those who escape by providence.

People are coming together although the news only reports the rapes, looting, boat hijackings and many newspaper are busy blaming President Bush. The news doesn't report that Bush was on the phone with the Governor of Louisiana trying to make arrangements the day before the hurricane, or that many people (not just the poor and elderly) refused to leave when ordered to do so, or the many, many agencies had arrived within hours of the hurricane coming through or that some organizations were turned back at the border because there was no place to stage (set them up) them. The land area is large, and the number of people affected is staggering. There is no reason to believe that initial confusion could have been avoided.

This storm was an opportunity for thousands to re-evaluate their lives, including those outside Louisiana, Alabama and Mississippi, who are asking the hard questions of God and looking for ways to help. Our church has been in prayer, and we are responding in various ways, like thousands are across the country. We will all face death. Through illness, war, accident, natural disaster, old age, carelessness or in our sleep. It is not something we will ever escape. To face death (and even life), without fear, we need hope, a reason for being. God provides us a reason for being (to glorify God and enjoy Him forever) and hope by enabling us to be conciliated to Him through Christ. Without hope our existence would be unbearable; our life would be filled with such hopelessness and terror, a continuous and painful ordeal. Why do we need to be reconciliated? Because we are sinful and God's nature (Holiness) cannot abide our sinfulness without payment or sacrifice, which He Himself has provided through His son.

I Fall Down

2005-08-16T12:40:00.000-04:00

Shortly after I wrote my last thoughts…

I found myself cursing the job God provided me to support my family with.

I cursed my supervisor, whom was made in the image of God.

My cursing and carrying on with co-workers, damaged, not insignificantly, my Christian witness.

But Grace abounds and as I repent…

Thoughts for a friend

2005-08-16T09:03:00.000-04:00

I cannot print his email to me, but it is filled with discouragement and visions of failure. I can print my response.

Sometimes, when I have my Christianity thrown in my face, it is just plain old fashion resentment/persecution/self-loathing on the part of the accuser. Whether I have it coming or not, It always leads to self-examination, and sometimes (often) to correction (Confession: I tend to be very self-righteous in my walk), so that I am looking to the wisdom of Christ through the Holy Spirit to keep me on the King's Highway (as described in Bunyon's Pilgrim's Progress), discarding things that may have become idols, and as a prompter for prayer concerning my walk and how it intersects with those around me (which, when there is correction, causes new persecution/condemnation). Yes I get frustrated, angry, losing patience (behaviors that affect my witness), and I direct a lot of these emotions at myself. This is what Christ promised us (Matthew 5:11-12), especially when He talks about taking up our daily cross, and/or dying to self (Mark 8:34, Roman 7:6). It is not easy for me, and I know it is not easy for you. Pray for wisdom, as I will pray for you and your need for wisdom. Thank God for the opportunity to show Christian character despite the oppressiveness of the situation it is a part of. Sanctification is a life-long process that will never be complete until we die and stand before the throne. And there will be times we fail but we will not be disqualified (1 Corinthians 9:27), we will not be out of the race (Acts 20:24).

Remember that 'the Word BECAME FLESH', that is, God didn't inhabit a body through Christ, but became FLESH and all that it entails, human nature in its totality: body, soul, spirit, will and emotions. Christ KNOWS what you and I and everyone else goes through. He knows our weaknesses and struggles, and he experienced not only what IT IS to be human, but what IT IS to experience the wrath of God.

I get very frustrated here at work, and God keeps closing doors that I find open that would lead me out of here. I wasn't here 15 minutes today when I found myself struggling not to say the words to my 'boss' that would get me fired. I am still struggling not to rant and rave to my co-workers about this perceived insult/offense to my person and abilities. Last week I wanted a separation from my wife, not a divorce, but separate living quarters I could go to get away from her and the stress that she causes me. Satan constantly whispers in my ears and I need to constantly focus on Christ, even when I am 'right' and the others are wrong. Once asking his mother (Susanna Wesley) for a definition of sin, John Wesley received a response fit for theology books. "Take this rule," she wrote to John. "Whatever weakens your reason, impairs the tenderness of your conscience, obscures your sense of God, or takes off your relish of spiritual things; in short, whatever increases the strength and authority of your body over your mind, that thing is sin to you, however innocent it may be in itself."

I think I wrote enough. I hope this is an encouragement, and if not, then know that I do keep you in Prayer.

What is a Real Christian?

2005-08-11T15:55:00.000-04:00

A friend sent me an article about an interview with U2's Bono, and how Bono relies on the Grace of Christ over Karma where he states that he would be in big trouble "if Karma was going to finally be my judge. It doesn't excuse my mistakes, but I'm holding out for Grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the Cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity." These are the words of a man known for "his notoriously bad language, liberal politics, and rock star antics."

Wise words, but are they the words of someone who is saved? My initial thoughts were this; They (U2) have always proclaim themselves a 'Christian' band their very beginnings. Of course, I wonder how we are suppose to know this when they are indistinguishable from culture in their personal behavior. While Bono may be depending on the grace set forth by Christ to cover his sins, where does the process of sanctification show up in his life, especially since it is so public? They (U2) certainly do a lot of charitable things and promote awareness for causes that include injustice, poverty and hunger, but I have never, except for a occasional article heard Bono promote Christ. Doesn't he believe that Christ should be the first place those in trouble should turn, or that it is in the name of Christ and not Bono/U2 he should promotes his many causes?

Sam Storm, in his book Pleasures Forevermore, talks about our need to focus firmly and diligently on Christ to overcome sinful behavior, especially when we talk about our so-called 'pet' sins. He talks about the prophet Isaiah's encounter with God in Isaiah 6:1-8. Isaiah, a prophet in God's service, obedient, a man of integrity, reduced to terror as realization of his own sinfulness rushes to destroy him in the presence of God, who is the absolute standard of holiness. Strive as we might, we can only pretend to know what that standard might looks like. If we were even close in approaching an idea on that magnificent standard, we would destroy ourselves. That is why Christ is needed as mediator between God and man. That is why His blood is the substance that saves us from what we will experience when we find ourselves in the presence of our Creator, our one and only God. If we are unaware of the how and why of Christ, can we still claim Him as our own? Does Paul's words concerning the fruit of the Spirit concern our public faith or just private (personal) faith? Does Christ not promise us rejection by the world in exchange for faith? Sounds like public faith to me.

Another email I received, was a bunch of cute quotes from children as they write letters and notes addressed to God. We have all come across these letters, especially if we use Email. Letters such as Dear God, Thank you for the baby brother but what I asked for was a puppy. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. Joyce or Dear God, did you mean for giraffes to look like that or was it an accident? Norma. The Bible talks about us having faith like a child, and these 'letters' clearly show us what child-like faith could look like. These kids responded to God in the contents of what they knew concerning God, there was no great issues of ideology, theology, cultural warfare or a losing battle with pride in these letters. These letter writers do have a ways to go, and the Word of God should be the only true instruction manual, along with Godly parent(s), but these kids will not go very far without reading the Word of God. How can their faith be maintained? For "… faith comes from hearing, and hearing, the word of God ..." (Romans 10:17). How can our own walk be true without knowing what the Word of God teaches concerning true faith and the expectations that come with it.

I have an Uncle, who left his wife and is living with an ex-priest (male), who will still claim the Cross as his own. The bible addresses such, and it is not I who would judge him except in the content of what the Bible teaches concerning our fruit, and the folly of our reliance on the wisdom of man. Anyway, I hope (his dependence on Christ) is true in Bono life, but he has a lot to learn concerning the Christian walk, or the need to be readily identified in Christ. From where I sit, Bono (as well as my Uncle) are still depending on their own religiosity.

2005-08-10T08:33:00.000-04:00

We learn to praise God, not by paying compliments, but by paying attention. - Frederick Buechner

Korn guitarist leaves band to pursue relationship with Jesus Christ

2005-08-08T08:57:00.000-04:00

Korn guitarist leaves band to pursue relationship with Jesus Christ

According to several news sources, Korn guitarist Brian "Head" Welch has left the multi-platinum band, because of a newfound relationship with Jesus Christ.

According to an official statement from the band Welch "has chosen Jesus Christ as his savior, and will be dedicating his musical pursuits to that end. Korn respects Brian's wishes, and hopes he finds the happiness he's searching for."

Welch, unhappy with the direction of the band, reportedly submitted a written "letter of resignation" to the band's management, citing various moral objections, including the band's most recent music video for "Word Up," in which his face is superimposed onto a dog patrolling a strip club, according to MTV news.

According to an article on MTV.com, Welch told a radio station in Bakersfield, California during an interview on Sunday, "I can go up there and play those songs and those solos but ... I distanced myself from Korn for probably a year and a half, two years. I just wanted to fade away, it was crazy. I was so gone. But I found my way out and I want to help anyone that wants to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I had to go through the lows to appreciate the highs and it's not perfect but it's damn near."

Welch reportedly plans to further explain his decision to his home church congregation in California this Sunday and hopes to release an album later this year. Korn has expressed its intentions to continue as a band without him.

From Desiring God's Fresh Words: A Compelling Reason for Rigorous Training of the Mind

2005-07-20T07:32:00.000-04:00

July 13, 2005
Fresh Words Edition
By John Piper
Permanent Link

Thoughts on the Significance of Reading

I was reading and meditating on the book of Hebrews recently, when it hit me forcefully that a basic and compelling reason for education—the rigorous training of the mind—is so that a person can read the Bible with understanding.

This sounds too obvious to be useful or compelling. But that’s just because we take the preciousness of reading so for granted; or, even more, because we appreciate so little the kind of thinking that a complex Bible passage requires of us.

The book of Hebrews, for example, is an intellectually challenging argument from Old Testament texts. The points that the author makes hang on biblical observations that come only from rigorous reading, not light skimming. And the understanding of these Old Testament interpretations in the text of Hebrews requires rigorous thought and mental effort. The same could be said for the extended argumentation of Romans and Galatians and the other books of the Bible.

This is an overwhelming argument for giving our children a disciplined and rigorous training in how to think an author’s thoughts after him from a text—especially a biblical text. An alphabet must be learned, as well as vocabulary, grammar, syntax, the rudiments of logic, and the way meaning is imparted through sustained connections of sentences and paragraphs.

The reason Christians have always planted schools where they have planted churches is because we are a people of THE BOOK. It is true that THE BOOK will never have its proper effect without prayer and the Holy Spirit. It is not a textbook to be debated; it is a fountain for spiritual thirst, and food for the soul, and a revelation of God, and a living power, and a two-edged sword. But none of this changes the fact: apart from the discipline of reading, the Bible is as powerless as paper. Someone might have to read it for you; but without reading, the meaning and the power of it are locked up.

Is it not remarkable how often Jesus settled great issues with a reference to reading? For example, in the issue of the Sabbath he said, “Have you not read what David did?” (Matthew 12:3). In the issue of divorce and remarriage he said, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female?” (Matthew 19:4). In the issue of true worship and praise he said, “Have you never read, ‘Out of the mouth of infants and nursing babes you have prepared praise for yourself’?” (Matthew 21:16). In the issue of the resurrection he said, “Did you never read in the Scriptures, ‘The stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone’?” (Matthew 21:42). And to the lawyer who queried him about eternal life he said, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” (Luke 10:26).

The apostle Paul also gave reading a great place in the life of the church. For example, he said to the Corinthians, “We write nothing else to you than what you read and understand, and I hope you will understand until the end” (1 Corinthians 1:13). To the Ephesians he said, “When you read you can understand my insight into the mystery of Christ” (Ephesians 3:3). To the Colossians he said, “When this letter is read among you, have it also read in the church of the Laodiceans; and you, for your part read my letter that is coming from Laodicea” (Colossians 4:16). Reading the letters of Paul was so important that he commands it with an oath: “I adjure you by the Lord to have this letter read to all the brethren” (1 Thessalonians 5:27).

The ability to read does not come intuitively. It must be taught. And learning to read with understanding is a life-long labor. The implications for Christians are immense. Education of the mind in the rigorous discipline of thoughtful reading is a primary goal of school. The church of Jesus is debilitated when his people are lulled into thinking that it is humble or democratic or relevant to give a merely practical education that does not involve the rigorous training of the mind to think hard and to construe meaning from difficult texts.

The issue of earning a living is not nearly so important as whether the next generation has direct access to the meaning of the Word of God. We need an education that puts the highest premium under God on knowing the meaning of God’s Book, and growing in the abilities that will unlock its riches for a lifetime. It would be better to starve for lack of food than to fail to grasp the meaning of the book of Romans. Lord, let us not fail the next generation!

© 2005 Desiring God

Cookie Thief

2005-04-25T08:51:00.000-04:00

A woman was waiting at an airport one night,
With several long hours before her flight.
She hunted for a book in the airport shops,
Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

She was engrossed in her book but happened to see,
That the man sitting beside her, as bold as could
be. Grabbed a cookie or two from the bag in between,
Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene.

So she munched the cookies and watched the clock,
As the gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock.
She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by,
Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I would blacken his eye."

With each cookie she took, he took one too, When only
one was left, she wondered what he would do.
With a smile on his face, and a nervous laugh,
He took the last cookie and broke it in half.

He offered her half, as he ate the other, She snatched
it from him and thought...oooh, brother.
This guy has some nerve and he's also rude,
Why he didn't even show any gratitude!

She had never known when she had been so galled,
And sighed with relief when her flight was called.
She gathered her belongings and headed to the gate,
Refusing to look back at that thieving ingrate.

She boarded the plane, and sank in her seat,
Then sought her book, which was almost complete.
As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise,
There was her bag of cookies, in front of her eyes.

If mine are here, she moaned with despair,
The others were his, and he tried to share
. Too late to apologize, she realized with grief,
That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

Here I am

2005-02-25T13:27:00.000-05:00

I am a Christian. I am a sinner. I struggle daily